lazy much.

Haven't posted in a couple of days but its okay. I do this for myself only so I don't have to keep anyone happy by posting often. I'm sitting at Blenz, drinking coffee, with a laptop listening to my playlist mixed with the bad radio music that is playing here. it's 6:55pm as I'm typing this. Another 3 hours to go. I wish it was raining outside. There is just something about being in a coffee shop when it rains outside that turns me on. Anyways, this song that I'm listening to, kind of reminds me of this poem that wrote. So i went through my files and found that one poem, one the first click, it's #4. lucky me...heh. I read it once, read it twice and I can just feel the emotions that I went through as I was writing the poem a year ago. I remember writing it at my friend's house when i stayed over. Couldn't sleep and it was pretty late at night. I wanted to talk to someone, but I feel weak when I do. And I don't want that. I don't ever want anyone to know how I look when I'm weak. Anyone I'm not comfortable with I guess. No one needs to know how much of a coward I can be, or how many thousand pieces I can shatter into. And so what if they do? So what if I can find someone to talk to it about? Nobody can help me. Nobody can save me from what was going on except for myself because why? I'm the only one who's constantly keeping myself in the ditch. I saw the opening I saw the ladder, but I didn't want to leave the darkness. As if things would get better if I stayed there long enough, and everything would go back to normal. As if someone would hear me cry and save me from my own misery. Nah, it doesn't work that way. But I saved myself, and I'm glad I did it alone. I'm a stronger person. I think my life is better than what I had before. I moved on from where i was two years ago and from what happened a year ago. I don't know about you. But I thank you for what you've taught me, I can never be passionate about things the way I am now. I'm still slowly learning, there are still things revolving the thing/word/feeling/whatever "love" that I'm trying to figure out. So thank you, for showing me that it is okay to let others know about my feelings and how i feel towards others. I'm living a great life, with great love. And it would never be what it is now if it wasn't for the things you've taught me.

And as for you....

- ---- --- --, I'll eat you up.